I have naturally curly hair. Over the years, I've come to never expect my hair to do anything I want. Life is like naturally curly hair - unpredictable. You can't expect anything … from anyone. The quicker you learn that, the happier you'll be.
When you expect something to turn out a certain way and it doesn't, that's when we, as the crazy beings we are, get all upset. But, in reality, we shouldn't be upset at all.
We expect that guy we met at the bar to call. He doesn't, and we get all pissy. But, guess what … he was probably a shit head and we should try to look at the positive reasons behind him not calling.
We have one amazing Friday night, and then we expect every Friday night that follows to be that wonderful. It's not going to happen … it'll just be a let down.
This is what you need to do. Do not have any expectations. Don't expect people to be on time. Don't expect all your roommates to pay their bills on the first of every month. Don't expect some guy to be "the one" after two dates. It's hard to enjoy the way life unfolds when you're constantly being let down by some foolish expectations, set by your foolish self.
If you don't allow high expectations to enter your mind, then you won't be all pouty and disappointed when things don't go exactly your way. Remember, just because something didn't go your way, doesn't mean it didn't go the way it was supposed to.
So, stop expecting, and start having fun with the way things are … in the moment … right now. I'm even kind of in love with my hair. Even on the bad days.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
How To "Get It In The Bag."
You know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you play your cards just right. The guy falls for you and you tell your friends, with that half determined-half sexy look on your face, "I've got it in the bag." To put it simply, this feeling rocks. Here's how to get there:
1. Some people are unforgettable. Be one of them. If you're like every other girl in his life, that's exactly who you'll be … just another girl.
2. You might have amazing boobs, a great ass or legs for days. That's good, but guess what … so do millions of other girls. It all comes down to personality and confidence babe. Let your personality hang out instead of your boobs. Walk into the bar you both hang out at like you own the place. Flash a smile that would catch the President's attention. You get the idea.
3. Be yourself around him. So, you color coordinate the items in your fridge. You dance a little bit while waiting on the subway platform. Your conversations with your cat always help you make important decisions. Whatever it is … don't hide it. Men love that shit. It makes you different. They're now intrigued.
4. Rely on face to face interaction. Don't text. When you text, you may be interrupting his day, waking him from a nap, etc. Men don't desire that, and you don't want to be an interruption. Be the girl whose arm he could reach out and touch each time he communicates with you. Soon he'll be texting your ass, making plans to see you. (Now it's appropriate to respond … and actually calling would be good too.) And, if you have a drunk text habit (we've all been there) don't take his number, or don't save it in your phone. No number, no temptation, no texting.
5. To get something going, face to face is a good idea. Pelvis to pelvis … not such a good idea. If you really want to have it all in the bag, don't sleep with him right away. I know, it's hard … you really want to … you're both in a bar bathroom that's actually pretty clean. Too bad, don't have sex with him. Hold out as long as you can. It's been said that, "Women fall fast, men fall hard." It's true and it takes men longer to fall for you. You know they want to sleep with you, but in the mean time, let them get to know that awesome personality I've been talking about. Trust me, this works. As he gets to know you, he'll want to sleep with you even more - not just because you're hot, but because he truly appreciates who you are.
By following these five simple suggestions, you'll hook him. And, if it's not going in that direction, you'll be able to tell. Then it's time to bag another man.
1. Some people are unforgettable. Be one of them. If you're like every other girl in his life, that's exactly who you'll be … just another girl.
2. You might have amazing boobs, a great ass or legs for days. That's good, but guess what … so do millions of other girls. It all comes down to personality and confidence babe. Let your personality hang out instead of your boobs. Walk into the bar you both hang out at like you own the place. Flash a smile that would catch the President's attention. You get the idea.
3. Be yourself around him. So, you color coordinate the items in your fridge. You dance a little bit while waiting on the subway platform. Your conversations with your cat always help you make important decisions. Whatever it is … don't hide it. Men love that shit. It makes you different. They're now intrigued.
4. Rely on face to face interaction. Don't text. When you text, you may be interrupting his day, waking him from a nap, etc. Men don't desire that, and you don't want to be an interruption. Be the girl whose arm he could reach out and touch each time he communicates with you. Soon he'll be texting your ass, making plans to see you. (Now it's appropriate to respond … and actually calling would be good too.) And, if you have a drunk text habit (we've all been there) don't take his number, or don't save it in your phone. No number, no temptation, no texting.
5. To get something going, face to face is a good idea. Pelvis to pelvis … not such a good idea. If you really want to have it all in the bag, don't sleep with him right away. I know, it's hard … you really want to … you're both in a bar bathroom that's actually pretty clean. Too bad, don't have sex with him. Hold out as long as you can. It's been said that, "Women fall fast, men fall hard." It's true and it takes men longer to fall for you. You know they want to sleep with you, but in the mean time, let them get to know that awesome personality I've been talking about. Trust me, this works. As he gets to know you, he'll want to sleep with you even more - not just because you're hot, but because he truly appreciates who you are.
By following these five simple suggestions, you'll hook him. And, if it's not going in that direction, you'll be able to tell. Then it's time to bag another man.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Dear Dad …
Dear Dad,
I still can't believe it's been 10 years since I've heard your laugh. Ten years since you told me I was beautiful. Ten years since you played your favorite Frankie record in the living room.
Mom is doing well. She's still beautiful on the inside and out. She still has a ridiculous amount of clothes, and you would love what she's done with the kitchen. There's a new cocker spaniel in the house … Bella is her name. She's cute, but a little naughty at times and would drive you nuts. Oh, and Mom is retired now. She's traveled to Germany, and is even going to Vegas in a few weeks. She is still not afraid of anything. She's kept your collectibles in the basement. All the radios, records and memorabilia that you cherished. You always said, "They'll be worth something someday." I think we'd rather keep them than find out. Thank you for not being afraid to go up to Mom and ask if you could eat lunch with her that one afternoon at the Cozy Kitchen. This past week you would have celebrated your 38th wedding anniversary. I know she misses you everyday. I know she'd give anything to have a cup of tea with you after dinner, just like you used to every night. But, don't worry, she has so many people in her life who love her.
Kimberly, your youngest pride and joy, is living her dream. She's married to a wonderful man, living in Wisconsin and changing lives as a nurse. Even though it's only been a year, they're already looking for a house. And, you can relax … they're huge Packer fans and never miss a game. I'm pretty sure you would have liked watching games with her husband, Dan. He gets nervous just like you used to. They were Superbowl champs last year. I wish you could have seen that game. It was marvelous. You'd be so happy and proud of Kimber. On her wedding day, she was so beautiful. That little girl who used to play board games with you has grown into an amazing woman.
As for me, I guess you could say I'm your wild child. After graduating from college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison (Go Badgers), I became a reporter at a couple of local newspapers, and continued to live in Madison for a few years. I remember how you wouldn't even drive in that city. Whenever I was stuck and frustrated with traffic, I'd think of you.
Then, when I was 26, something told me to move to New York City. I packed some suitcases, found some roommates online and moved to Brooklyn. If you were here, I think you would have chained me to my apartment in Wisconsin … even Mom was worried for me. She still wants me to come back home. But, this city was made for me, even though it can beat you down sometimes and take all your money, I know I could never leave. Mom has even come to visit me a few times. She's become a master of the subway, loved the Statue of Liberty and even sat with me at my favorite dive bar. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't love riding the subway as much as I do. And, I can tell you one thing, it's not as fun as riding in the back seat of your 1966 Dodge Cornet. I miss that.
My last name is still Becker, and I plan to keep it that way, even after I walk down the aisle … someday. Until then, I'm enjoying life, having fun and making the most of every experience. Oh, you'll love this … I started taking tap classes here in the city. These classes are tough, but my teachers are some of the most amazing dancers in the nation, and I'm learning so much from them. So, thank you for always taking Kimberly and I to our dance classes and sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of dance moms. It's a good thing you always had one of your favorite Mickey Spillane novels with you. You must be the reason I have a passion for crime novels. Actually, did you know Spillane was born in Brooklyn? I guess this was all meant to be.
Even though you aren't physically here anymore, you still teach me so much. Because of you, everyone I care about knows it. You can be here one day and gone the next. Telling people how much I care about them is not an option for me. It's a must. Thank you for teaching me about good music … for sharing your love of Frank Sinatra, Elvis and Rock n' Roll. Thank you for always telling me I'm beautiful. Even when some boy made me cry and the mascara I took from mom's make up cabinet was running down my face, you'd tell me I was beautiful (and that the boy was a fool). Thank you for making me see that all we really have is today and for reminding me that money and possessions are not a way to measure life. Thank you for always being proud of me. Because of that, I am now proud of myself. Most of all, thank you for being you. For being a wonderful husband, son and father. Because of you, I am who I am today. I think I've turned out pretty well. I still have the long hair you always loved. I still talk too much during dinner. And, I'm still a little kid at heart.
Tonight, I'll dream of the nights we'd dance to the oldies in the living room. And of that orange carpet and the yellow rocker we'd sit in during story time. I'll hear you sing, in your lowest voice possible, "What a Wonderful World."
I still can't believe it's been 10 years since I've heard your laugh. Ten years since you told me I was beautiful. Ten years since you played your favorite Frankie record in the living room.
Mom is doing well. She's still beautiful on the inside and out. She still has a ridiculous amount of clothes, and you would love what she's done with the kitchen. There's a new cocker spaniel in the house … Bella is her name. She's cute, but a little naughty at times and would drive you nuts. Oh, and Mom is retired now. She's traveled to Germany, and is even going to Vegas in a few weeks. She is still not afraid of anything. She's kept your collectibles in the basement. All the radios, records and memorabilia that you cherished. You always said, "They'll be worth something someday." I think we'd rather keep them than find out. Thank you for not being afraid to go up to Mom and ask if you could eat lunch with her that one afternoon at the Cozy Kitchen. This past week you would have celebrated your 38th wedding anniversary. I know she misses you everyday. I know she'd give anything to have a cup of tea with you after dinner, just like you used to every night. But, don't worry, she has so many people in her life who love her.
Kimberly, your youngest pride and joy, is living her dream. She's married to a wonderful man, living in Wisconsin and changing lives as a nurse. Even though it's only been a year, they're already looking for a house. And, you can relax … they're huge Packer fans and never miss a game. I'm pretty sure you would have liked watching games with her husband, Dan. He gets nervous just like you used to. They were Superbowl champs last year. I wish you could have seen that game. It was marvelous. You'd be so happy and proud of Kimber. On her wedding day, she was so beautiful. That little girl who used to play board games with you has grown into an amazing woman.
As for me, I guess you could say I'm your wild child. After graduating from college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison (Go Badgers), I became a reporter at a couple of local newspapers, and continued to live in Madison for a few years. I remember how you wouldn't even drive in that city. Whenever I was stuck and frustrated with traffic, I'd think of you.
Then, when I was 26, something told me to move to New York City. I packed some suitcases, found some roommates online and moved to Brooklyn. If you were here, I think you would have chained me to my apartment in Wisconsin … even Mom was worried for me. She still wants me to come back home. But, this city was made for me, even though it can beat you down sometimes and take all your money, I know I could never leave. Mom has even come to visit me a few times. She's become a master of the subway, loved the Statue of Liberty and even sat with me at my favorite dive bar. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't love riding the subway as much as I do. And, I can tell you one thing, it's not as fun as riding in the back seat of your 1966 Dodge Cornet. I miss that.
My last name is still Becker, and I plan to keep it that way, even after I walk down the aisle … someday. Until then, I'm enjoying life, having fun and making the most of every experience. Oh, you'll love this … I started taking tap classes here in the city. These classes are tough, but my teachers are some of the most amazing dancers in the nation, and I'm learning so much from them. So, thank you for always taking Kimberly and I to our dance classes and sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of dance moms. It's a good thing you always had one of your favorite Mickey Spillane novels with you. You must be the reason I have a passion for crime novels. Actually, did you know Spillane was born in Brooklyn? I guess this was all meant to be.
Even though you aren't physically here anymore, you still teach me so much. Because of you, everyone I care about knows it. You can be here one day and gone the next. Telling people how much I care about them is not an option for me. It's a must. Thank you for teaching me about good music … for sharing your love of Frank Sinatra, Elvis and Rock n' Roll. Thank you for always telling me I'm beautiful. Even when some boy made me cry and the mascara I took from mom's make up cabinet was running down my face, you'd tell me I was beautiful (and that the boy was a fool). Thank you for making me see that all we really have is today and for reminding me that money and possessions are not a way to measure life. Thank you for always being proud of me. Because of that, I am now proud of myself. Most of all, thank you for being you. For being a wonderful husband, son and father. Because of you, I am who I am today. I think I've turned out pretty well. I still have the long hair you always loved. I still talk too much during dinner. And, I'm still a little kid at heart.
Tonight, I'll dream of the nights we'd dance to the oldies in the living room. And of that orange carpet and the yellow rocker we'd sit in during story time. I'll hear you sing, in your lowest voice possible, "What a Wonderful World."
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Taking The Liner Too Far
I love eyeliner. I believe that the cat eye is one of the greatest make up looks of all time. But then, some company has to take it too far.
This time, I'm talking about Dior. Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I have a tremendous amount of respect for this company. They put out amazing and high-quality products … and I bet this eyeliner (if you can call it that) is right up there with the rest of their make up line. The question is, how necessary is this? What is the art of make up coming to?
Let me start by filling you in on this new product. Dior make up artists have created a set of multi-wear adhesive eyeliner patches. That's right … it's a set of four pairs: two plain black, one with small anthracite grey crystals and one more with white crystals (Swarovski crystals to be exact). And, how perfect, since they are said to fit any eye shape, since they're adjustable.
Take a look for yourself. In my opinion they're a little too much (unless you're a fashion model, and in that case you probably have your own make up artist anyways). But, the fact that they're on the gaudy side isn't the worst of it for me.
Recently, make up companies are giving us (women and men who wear make up) no credit. Many companies are assuming that we all just want everything to be convenient and un-original. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want my eyeliner to look exactly like anyone else's at the bar. Then your only option is to be upset with yourself for not wearing pair number 3. But … wait, if you would have done your own make up, the whole situation would have been avoided.
This brings me to my second point. For me (and I know I'm not alone), make up is an art. One of my good friends, Gabe Fuller (check him out, he's amazing) has been my make up guru for the last year. I remember one night he was teaching me the cat eye. I asked him how he got to be so good at it and he said, "I'm an artist. I draw, I paint, I know how to use my hand. It takes practice to get the motion down." So, practice I did, and I now wear the cat eye all the time.
For me, that was some of the best make up advice I've ever received. I finally understood the importance of applying your own make up, and making your face a canvass. Everyone should experience perfecting the cat eye or the red lip that compliments your skin tone.
Finding the right lip stick or gloss, or the right gel, liquid or pencil liner that will achieve the look you want is also part of the experience. It's just like fake nails. Anyone can glue on plastic nails, but it takes time and effort to maintain and take care of your nails. Anyone can also put eyeliner patches on their eye lids … but you'll be missing out on the part where you look in the mirror and say, "Damn, my eyes look great tonight," followed by a self high five.
So … this is my advice. Pick out one of the other fabulous eyeliners Dior has to offer. Learn how to do your make up yourself, like the big girl (or boy) you are … and embrace the art of make up.
This time, I'm talking about Dior. Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I have a tremendous amount of respect for this company. They put out amazing and high-quality products … and I bet this eyeliner (if you can call it that) is right up there with the rest of their make up line. The question is, how necessary is this? What is the art of make up coming to?
Let me start by filling you in on this new product. Dior make up artists have created a set of multi-wear adhesive eyeliner patches. That's right … it's a set of four pairs: two plain black, one with small anthracite grey crystals and one more with white crystals (Swarovski crystals to be exact). And, how perfect, since they are said to fit any eye shape, since they're adjustable.
 |
| The Dior Backstage Eyeliners To-Wear Multi-Wear Adhesive Eyeliner Patches are selling at Sephora for $59. Would you invest in them? |
Recently, make up companies are giving us (women and men who wear make up) no credit. Many companies are assuming that we all just want everything to be convenient and un-original. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want my eyeliner to look exactly like anyone else's at the bar. Then your only option is to be upset with yourself for not wearing pair number 3. But … wait, if you would have done your own make up, the whole situation would have been avoided.
This brings me to my second point. For me (and I know I'm not alone), make up is an art. One of my good friends, Gabe Fuller (check him out, he's amazing) has been my make up guru for the last year. I remember one night he was teaching me the cat eye. I asked him how he got to be so good at it and he said, "I'm an artist. I draw, I paint, I know how to use my hand. It takes practice to get the motion down." So, practice I did, and I now wear the cat eye all the time.
For me, that was some of the best make up advice I've ever received. I finally understood the importance of applying your own make up, and making your face a canvass. Everyone should experience perfecting the cat eye or the red lip that compliments your skin tone.
Finding the right lip stick or gloss, or the right gel, liquid or pencil liner that will achieve the look you want is also part of the experience. It's just like fake nails. Anyone can glue on plastic nails, but it takes time and effort to maintain and take care of your nails. Anyone can also put eyeliner patches on their eye lids … but you'll be missing out on the part where you look in the mirror and say, "Damn, my eyes look great tonight," followed by a self high five.
So … this is my advice. Pick out one of the other fabulous eyeliners Dior has to offer. Learn how to do your make up yourself, like the big girl (or boy) you are … and embrace the art of make up.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)