Are Thigh High Socks Sexy or Skanky?

There really isn't anything that you can't apply the 'sexy vs. skanky' question to:

- Peanut Butter ... sexy or skanky?
- A visible thong ... sexy or skanky?
- A tight top paired with tight pants ... sexy or skanky?
- Being a fast typer ... sexy or skanky?
- And now, thigh high socks ... sexy or skanky?

I began considering this debate one night after I got dressed for a gig. I went out to my living room and one of my male roommates told me he loved the outfit, especially the socks. Then my female roommate asked me if I was "trying to look like a cheap prostitute." Of course, I huffed and puffed and told her no as I went back to my room to work on some routines for the evening.

Now, after dancing to a few songs, my socks started to fall down. I realized it would annoy me too much to tug them up every 30 seconds, so I decided not to wear them. That left one roommate thinking I was crazy not to wear them, while the other one thought I was more classy than I appeared 20 minutes ago. Same socks, same legs ... and two completely different views. One view was sexy, one was skanky.

My point is every person in the world will never agree that something is 100 percent either sexy or skanky. There are men out there that want to see a g-string on the woman walking in front of them. My advice is do and wear what makes you feel sexy and good about yourself. If you feel good in a tight top and tight pants (even though I consider it a fashion no-no), then wear it. But be prepared when someone says it's sexy, and also be prepared when someone says it's skanky.

Remember what's skanky to someone is sexy to another. It's kind of like "one person's trash is another's treasure."

P.S. I did wear those thigh high socks a different night!

When You Assume ...

Assumptions aren't fair. We all make them, and we've all been victims of them. Nobody is ever right every time, so why can't people come out and ask for the information they want ... instead of assuming, and then assuming they're right.

The other weekend a guy said to me, "I'm not the type of man you take home to meet your mom." Really, do not just assume that's what I want. And why would someone think that ... because I'm from Wisconsin, so I automatically want to take you there and look at houses with fenced in backyards. No. Or maybe it's because I don't leave the bar with a different man every night, so I must want to get married right away. Again, not true. Maybe if he would have gotten to know me instead of assuming what I wanted, we actually could have had something. I'm not sure exactly what, but something.

If you're taking up time assuming things about someone, it means something's peaked your interested. If not, it wouldn't be taking up space in your head. Instead of wondering, open up your mouth and ask. It's a lot better to make an ass out of yourself by asking for information than assuming and probably being wrong ... and making a bigger ass out of yourself later.

Maybe the concept of assuming bothers me so much because of the journalist in me. As a reporter you can't just 'assume' the quotes and statistics in your article are true. You have to be sure they are. You have to research and interview people ... you have to do your homework.

All you assumers out there need to buck up and do your homework. Men, stop assuming that the woman standing next to you is already thinking about what your future children will look like. And women, stop thinking that the guy only asked for your number so he can sleep with you. That may be, but it may not be. And once you start getting to know him, the answer will become evident. So, don't assume, give someone a chance. But, if he says, "Well of course I just want to sleep with you ... I assumed that's what you wanted" ... slap him. Not to promote violence, but he shouldn't have assumed that in the first place. And please ladies, don't assume that he really is a good guy and he'll come around in a few days with an apology and a dozen roses. Once again, it may happen ... or it may not. But, I do know that a series of assumptions always leads to disappointment and 'what the hell just happened' moments.

Be Thankful for Stuff

Everyone has those days where they're all of a sudden in a really good mood ... for no reason ... at all. I'm having one of those days, and it's made me think of all the little things I'm thankful for. So, here we go:

I'm thankful for the people that know how to move into the middle of the subway car. You have to, because it's funny to see all the Williamsburg kids get their backpacks stuck in the sliding doors.

I'm thankful that I take a downtown train to work. I like going downtown, kind of like Petula Clark.

I'm thankful for the Keurig machine at my office. And all the flavors of coffee they provide for us ... and the cream ... and the milk. Even the Diet Coke is free.

I'm thankful for a spring day, allowing me to run outside in shorts and without a hat. And, I'm thankful for my good shoes, rock music and the invention of the air drums to get me through that run. I'm even a little thankful for the dog shit on the ground ... it gave me something to dodge (but in all seriousness, people need to start carrying those little blue poop bags with them).

I'm thankful that I live in the best neighborhood in Brooklyn (in my opinion). People talk to other people here, even people they don't know. You don't see that on the Upper East Side.

I'm thankful for Elvis ... and how he made hips very important ... even for men.

I'm thankful for Budweiser and Jack Daniels ... and my favorite little dive that never leaves me disappointed.

And, of course I'm thankful for family and friends, my health and my cat ... you know, all the important stuff. But, little things in life are just as important. And when you realize how much you have to be thankful for, you realize that all you really need is yourself. So, pick a day and notice all the little things that make you happy and thankful that you are you. Be thankful for yourself, and remember that you're on the "thankful lists" of others. When you don't feel like you are, you can always count on your mother's list.

FYI -- I really do enjoy Williamsburg. And I'm pretty sure that no Williamsburgers are really hurt by the sliding doors of the subway.

Go On ... It's OK ... Move On

I'm just going to dive right in. There is a big difference between giving up because you are lazy, and letting go and moving on. If you failed your college calculus class because you were "too tired" to attend Monday night tutoring sessions, then you gave up on that class. Now, if you prepared for a job interview and had a rocking resume and the manager decided you weren't right for the job, you move on and let it go. You find other interviews, and the perfect job will come your way. And, who knows, maybe that company you really had your mind set on will have an opening in the future that will be right for you. ... But maybe that won't happen, and guess what, that job you do find will be meant for you.

When the decisions and feelings of another person (or persons) are involved, some things are out of your control. You can't force someone to hire you. All you can do is show them how amazing you are and how much you want the job. Then, it's up to them.

Obviously you can apply this wise information to relationships. Even when you feel the world for someone, they may just want to be friends. It doesn't mean they don't think you're fabulous and that they don't care ... maybe it's just not right.

Think of it this way. Everyday, on my way to work, I try to get a seat on the L train. I always go way to the left of the platform, and 95 percent of the time, I end up standing. One day I realized this approach just wasn't working. Yes, maybe I got what I wanted 5 percent of the time, but there had to be a better way. So, one day I went to the right end of the platform, and as the train approached I realized I was going to get a seat. And guess what, it made me smile.

See, sometimes letting go of old ways leads to trying something new. And that something new just might work. Moving on is never negative. It can be hard and frustrating, but when you're ready to try something new, it can be exhilarating and can actually make you smile again ... and not just 5 percent of the time.