When You Assume ...

Assumptions aren't fair. We all make them, and we've all been victims of them. Nobody is ever right every time, so why can't people come out and ask for the information they want ... instead of assuming, and then assuming they're right.

The other weekend a guy said to me, "I'm not the type of man you take home to meet your mom." Really, do not just assume that's what I want. And why would someone think that ... because I'm from Wisconsin, so I automatically want to take you there and look at houses with fenced in backyards. No. Or maybe it's because I don't leave the bar with a different man every night, so I must want to get married right away. Again, not true. Maybe if he would have gotten to know me instead of assuming what I wanted, we actually could have had something. I'm not sure exactly what, but something.

If you're taking up time assuming things about someone, it means something's peaked your interested. If not, it wouldn't be taking up space in your head. Instead of wondering, open up your mouth and ask. It's a lot better to make an ass out of yourself by asking for information than assuming and probably being wrong ... and making a bigger ass out of yourself later.

Maybe the concept of assuming bothers me so much because of the journalist in me. As a reporter you can't just 'assume' the quotes and statistics in your article are true. You have to be sure they are. You have to research and interview people ... you have to do your homework.

All you assumers out there need to buck up and do your homework. Men, stop assuming that the woman standing next to you is already thinking about what your future children will look like. And women, stop thinking that the guy only asked for your number so he can sleep with you. That may be, but it may not be. And once you start getting to know him, the answer will become evident. So, don't assume, give someone a chance. But, if he says, "Well of course I just want to sleep with you ... I assumed that's what you wanted" ... slap him. Not to promote violence, but he shouldn't have assumed that in the first place. And please ladies, don't assume that he really is a good guy and he'll come around in a few days with an apology and a dozen roses. Once again, it may happen ... or it may not. But, I do know that a series of assumptions always leads to disappointment and 'what the hell just happened' moments.