Part 2: How to Dress for a Formal Event When You're Used to Wearing Leather and Denim … and Other Useful Information

So what, I like dive bars. I like the people, the insanely disgusting bathrooms and the way my bartenders pour my whiskey. But sometimes you're summoned to an event that's either fancy in its entirety, or at the very least, at a fancy place.

It happened to me last week. It was a friend's birthday, so we were going to a fancy restaurant outside of the city. I was excited … maybe I'd meet someone nice and fall magically in love. Then I found out all the really rich people, the ones who insist on wearing Prada pajamas underneath their $2,200 cashmere robe, go to this place. I was still optimistic about the night and my only concern was … what am I going to wear?

In my world, you can never go wrong with black. I wear it all the time. It makes me happy. So, I decided to wear a simple black dress, a black cowboy-esque blazer and wedges. As I walked into this restaurant, a couple of older women gave me the stare down. In my head I told myself they couldn't possibly have recognized my $10 H&M dress, so what if my shoes were $30, my blazer was from a Goodwill store in Wisconsin and my necklace once belonged in my mom's jewlery box when she was 17.

After dinner, I went into the bathroom and I realized how different I felt from the other women around me. It was a good different. While I rummaged through my purse to find a buck or two to give to the bathroom attendant, I found myself proud to be who I am.

See, it takes a certain type of person to shop around at vintage and second-hand stores. Having your own taste, and not caring about the rest of the world, is a requirement. This is because no catalog, "dress like a celebrity" website or stylist is going to point you to a certain item. I like having style that's actually about style, and not just about a high price tag. Sometimes I even make parts of my outfits. It's the greatest feeling in the world. You know that no one has the exact same thing you're wearing. It's unique, and totally worth any hot glue gun burns you may have on your fingers.

After my bathroom breakthrough, I joined my friend at the bar. When I asked for a shot of whiskey, the bartenders looked at me as if no one has ever ordered a shot in the place. Then I saw that people around me, even men, were puzzled. After taking my shot with no problem, I asked for a beer. I told them they could just leave it in the bottle, but they insisted on pouring it into one of those fancy frosted glasses. That was the point when I realized none of the men in the bar were going to be approaching me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of my $10 dress. I don't think they understood a woman who would come to a swanky place and drink Jack Daniels and Budweiser.

Within five minutes of observing and sipping my beer from my fancy glass, I realized that most of the women were around my age. Then I realized most of the men were at least 25 to 30 years their senior. My friend told me many young women come to a place like this to find an older rich man. Before you hate on the women, he also said the men come here to find a younger woman to share their $3.4 million home with. I did notice three guys around my age. Unfortunately, they just talked about how cool they were and how big their muscles were. When I couldn't take any more and wanted to pluck my eyes out, I excused myself to get another beer. I moved so fast to the bar that I felt like a college kid having a "first bar" experience.

When this night came to an end, here's the knowledge I left with:

• Wear whatever the hell you want. Whenever you want. Wherever you want. 
• It doesn't matter how much money your outfit costs. It matters how you look and how you feel in it. 
• Nothing looks better than confidence. Men love it. Women are intimidated by it.
• A rich man who just wants to take care of a woman and have her shop all day, will never be the man for me. 
• I'd rather date a man who is more concerned with the size of his shit than the size of his wallet. 
• Give me a dive bar, beers in bottles and men wearing leather and tight jeans any day. Actually, just give me someone who can take a shot with me, and appreciate me for downing one. 
• I want dates to the Salvation Army store, with someone creative and passionate about life.
• Women … be thankful that you have a job and are supporting yourself. You shouldn't need a man, you should want one. 
• Don't go to places that aren't you, or be someone you aren't. If someone does fall for you, they won't be falling for the real you. Trust me, it'll come out someday.
• Forget about Prada pajamas. Just wear nothing. It will lead to better results. 

Does Prada even make pajamas? If I knew, I probably wouldn't have written this article. I should have asked the ladies in the bathroom.