No one is a master at everything. We all have our down falls. Mine our math and love. And, maybe I should add patience to the list. But really, I'm the most impatient with math problems and working out love equations, so it doesn't really count ... right?
Actually, if I had more patience I wouldn't have gotten so mad at integers in 7th grade. And I probably wouldn't identify with the woman Guns N' Roses sing about in "Patience."
I'm that person who wants something, and wants it now. Whether it's a man or the perfect red lipstick. I get an idea in my head, and I must go for it. This is usually a good thing, motivational and all ... until I think it's taking me too long to accomplish what I want.
After I graduated from college I was so frustrated when I didn't get a job at a newspaper in the first three months. After I stopped constantly worrying about it, I found a job in a month. Luckily I landed the crime beat and not the business beat ... the math would have been too much for me.
And then there's the times when I think I "need" something. For instance, with every new season, I have to get new shoes. And, until I find the pair I've been envisioning, I get more impatient with each shopping trip.
Oh, and when it comes to making plans with people, I simply don't want to wait.
I know there are many reasons I moved to New York City (some of which I don't even know yet), but I think my patience level needed some help. Apparently the Midwest was more kind to my patience than NYC wants to be. When I got here six months ago, I wanted everything ... right then. I wanted a fulfilling job, a support system and a closet for all my crap. Now, I have the first two taken care of, but I'm still missing a closet. And yes, I think about it a lot.
You should have seen me when I decided to go go dance. I wanted a job right away. Well, that's not the way it works here. A good friend of mine finally told me that everyone who really wants something goes through a period where they feel they're never going to make it. She told me those are the people that will get what they want, it's just going to take time, hard work and errrrr patience. She said, "Dance wherever you go, but remember to enjoy your life at the same time." Good thing I listened. I now have my first gig in February (which you'll be hearing more about soon)!
And, when it comes to friendships and relationships in this city, you have to work hard to maintain them. Actually, sometimes you have to work hard just to get them started. Making friends has never been a problem for me. Unfortunately, successful relationships have been a bit of a struggle. And it was hard for me in Wisconsin. Here I feel like it's next to impossible.
There will always be those things in life that challenge your patience. And, that's great. I'm just now realizing that it's a good thing. Because in the end, what's meant to be yours, will be yours. If you're meant to find that perfect shade of 'vintage wine' red lipstick, you will. If you're meant to stand next to someone, you will. And, if you're meant to have a certain stage, you will (substitute stage with job for all you non-performers).
Until then, I'm going to avoid calculus problems that take up an entire notebook page and I'll keep listening to Guns N' Roses telling me to take it slow ... it'll work itself out fine.
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