"I'm leaving by midnight." Yeah right. The dj will play Elvis and the next thing you know it's 1 am … then 1:30 am … you get the picture. Now, if you're a night-lifer, who also has a day job, there's plenty you can do to fake the 8 hours of good sleep you didn't get. (Hey, it's not your fault you were called to the bar by a higher power.)
When you didn't have steady work, going to the bar for cheap beers on Monday night was a good idea. But, now that you have a great job, you've decided to be a responsible adult and go to bed at 11 pm. Then again, we all need a little tradition every once in a while. So, when your alarm scares you awake at 7:30 am, here's how you pull yourself together.
As soon as you get out of bed, grab your favorite pain killer. You may not have a headache at the moment, but rush hour on the train will create one. Stop it before it starts. After drinking a gallon of water, you'll be ready to put on your work appropriate make up. On days like this, go with a little mascara and a bright red lip. You see, the lip color distracts people from looking at your droopy eyes. Plus, red lips just make you look like a woman in charge. Even though I usually stay away from adding additional eye make up (besides mascara) on days like this, sometimes a small amount of gold eyeshadow in the inside corner of your eyes really makes you look perky.
Now, accomplish the same attitude with your outfit. There is something about a blazer that looks professional, yet relaxed. My go-to is an off-white, almost tuxedo style blazer. The key is to wear something you don't typically wear. See, I always wear black, so putting on something that deviates from my fashion norm shocks and excites me. Plus, people will notice that it's not something you would typically wear and you'll receive compliments. Just like the lipstick trick, people will be distracted from any looks of death that may be on your face. But, make sure you don't look like you tried too hard … that screams "I feel terrible, but look how fancy I am with my matching dress, shoes and nail polish."
Since the sweat from your dancing binge most likely ruined your hair, get out the dry shampoo and fix any out of control pieces with the curling iron. If you're running short on time (a likely possibility), then screw it. That's why the ponytail was invented.
I can't speak for everyone, but my favorite hang out has a certain smell to it. Personally, I love it. It's safe and familiar … like walking into mom's kitchen after she bakes chocolate chip cookies. OK, not at all, but you're following, right? Even though you know the stench lingering in your hair is from the bar, to everyone else you just stink. Get out your favorite perfume, but don't go overboard. A couple sprays will do, no French bath needed.
On your commute to work, it's very important to listen to music that wakes you up and makes you happy. It's not a good idea to fall asleep on the train/bus. You'll probably miss your stop since you'll be half sleeping and half passed out. If you drive to work, blast the AC and pretend your dashboard is a piano (Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis is the best dash piano song. Ever.)
Finally, you're at work. If your place of employment has coffee, drink a few cups (if not, get some … this is NYC, there's one coffee shop to every blonde-haired girl). Obviously it's going to help, and by 11:45 am, you'll feel pretty normal. But don't be fooled. In less than an hour you'll want to rest your head on your keyboards space bar and take a nap. This is where snacking helps. Pour a small bowl of cheerios. Don't add milk … instead eat them one by one. It will take a long time to finish them, and during that time you will be awake (instead of doing that head nod/jerk thing that happens when you close your eyes for a second).
Once you've made it past 2 pm, you're golden. There's always more coffee, more cheerios and red lipstick. Most importantly, you spent a night with people you love, dancing to your favorite songs and singing out loud … all with a whiskey in hand. And now you have a reason to put on that outfit you love, but don't wear enough.
In five years you won't remember how many cups of coffee you had those Tuesday mornings, but I bet you'll remember those Monday nights.
No comments:
Post a Comment