Are Thigh High Socks Sexy or Skanky?

There really isn't anything that you can't apply the 'sexy vs. skanky' question to:

- Peanut Butter ... sexy or skanky?
- A visible thong ... sexy or skanky?
- A tight top paired with tight pants ... sexy or skanky?
- Being a fast typer ... sexy or skanky?
- And now, thigh high socks ... sexy or skanky?

I began considering this debate one night after I got dressed for a gig. I went out to my living room and one of my male roommates told me he loved the outfit, especially the socks. Then my female roommate asked me if I was "trying to look like a cheap prostitute." Of course, I huffed and puffed and told her no as I went back to my room to work on some routines for the evening.

Now, after dancing to a few songs, my socks started to fall down. I realized it would annoy me too much to tug them up every 30 seconds, so I decided not to wear them. That left one roommate thinking I was crazy not to wear them, while the other one thought I was more classy than I appeared 20 minutes ago. Same socks, same legs ... and two completely different views. One view was sexy, one was skanky.

My point is every person in the world will never agree that something is 100 percent either sexy or skanky. There are men out there that want to see a g-string on the woman walking in front of them. My advice is do and wear what makes you feel sexy and good about yourself. If you feel good in a tight top and tight pants (even though I consider it a fashion no-no), then wear it. But be prepared when someone says it's sexy, and also be prepared when someone says it's skanky.

Remember what's skanky to someone is sexy to another. It's kind of like "one person's trash is another's treasure."

P.S. I did wear those thigh high socks a different night!

When You Assume ...

Assumptions aren't fair. We all make them, and we've all been victims of them. Nobody is ever right every time, so why can't people come out and ask for the information they want ... instead of assuming, and then assuming they're right.

The other weekend a guy said to me, "I'm not the type of man you take home to meet your mom." Really, do not just assume that's what I want. And why would someone think that ... because I'm from Wisconsin, so I automatically want to take you there and look at houses with fenced in backyards. No. Or maybe it's because I don't leave the bar with a different man every night, so I must want to get married right away. Again, not true. Maybe if he would have gotten to know me instead of assuming what I wanted, we actually could have had something. I'm not sure exactly what, but something.

If you're taking up time assuming things about someone, it means something's peaked your interested. If not, it wouldn't be taking up space in your head. Instead of wondering, open up your mouth and ask. It's a lot better to make an ass out of yourself by asking for information than assuming and probably being wrong ... and making a bigger ass out of yourself later.

Maybe the concept of assuming bothers me so much because of the journalist in me. As a reporter you can't just 'assume' the quotes and statistics in your article are true. You have to be sure they are. You have to research and interview people ... you have to do your homework.

All you assumers out there need to buck up and do your homework. Men, stop assuming that the woman standing next to you is already thinking about what your future children will look like. And women, stop thinking that the guy only asked for your number so he can sleep with you. That may be, but it may not be. And once you start getting to know him, the answer will become evident. So, don't assume, give someone a chance. But, if he says, "Well of course I just want to sleep with you ... I assumed that's what you wanted" ... slap him. Not to promote violence, but he shouldn't have assumed that in the first place. And please ladies, don't assume that he really is a good guy and he'll come around in a few days with an apology and a dozen roses. Once again, it may happen ... or it may not. But, I do know that a series of assumptions always leads to disappointment and 'what the hell just happened' moments.

Be Thankful for Stuff

Everyone has those days where they're all of a sudden in a really good mood ... for no reason ... at all. I'm having one of those days, and it's made me think of all the little things I'm thankful for. So, here we go:

I'm thankful for the people that know how to move into the middle of the subway car. You have to, because it's funny to see all the Williamsburg kids get their backpacks stuck in the sliding doors.

I'm thankful that I take a downtown train to work. I like going downtown, kind of like Petula Clark.

I'm thankful for the Keurig machine at my office. And all the flavors of coffee they provide for us ... and the cream ... and the milk. Even the Diet Coke is free.

I'm thankful for a spring day, allowing me to run outside in shorts and without a hat. And, I'm thankful for my good shoes, rock music and the invention of the air drums to get me through that run. I'm even a little thankful for the dog shit on the ground ... it gave me something to dodge (but in all seriousness, people need to start carrying those little blue poop bags with them).

I'm thankful that I live in the best neighborhood in Brooklyn (in my opinion). People talk to other people here, even people they don't know. You don't see that on the Upper East Side.

I'm thankful for Elvis ... and how he made hips very important ... even for men.

I'm thankful for Budweiser and Jack Daniels ... and my favorite little dive that never leaves me disappointed.

And, of course I'm thankful for family and friends, my health and my cat ... you know, all the important stuff. But, little things in life are just as important. And when you realize how much you have to be thankful for, you realize that all you really need is yourself. So, pick a day and notice all the little things that make you happy and thankful that you are you. Be thankful for yourself, and remember that you're on the "thankful lists" of others. When you don't feel like you are, you can always count on your mother's list.

FYI -- I really do enjoy Williamsburg. And I'm pretty sure that no Williamsburgers are really hurt by the sliding doors of the subway.

Go On ... It's OK ... Move On

I'm just going to dive right in. There is a big difference between giving up because you are lazy, and letting go and moving on. If you failed your college calculus class because you were "too tired" to attend Monday night tutoring sessions, then you gave up on that class. Now, if you prepared for a job interview and had a rocking resume and the manager decided you weren't right for the job, you move on and let it go. You find other interviews, and the perfect job will come your way. And, who knows, maybe that company you really had your mind set on will have an opening in the future that will be right for you. ... But maybe that won't happen, and guess what, that job you do find will be meant for you.

When the decisions and feelings of another person (or persons) are involved, some things are out of your control. You can't force someone to hire you. All you can do is show them how amazing you are and how much you want the job. Then, it's up to them.

Obviously you can apply this wise information to relationships. Even when you feel the world for someone, they may just want to be friends. It doesn't mean they don't think you're fabulous and that they don't care ... maybe it's just not right.

Think of it this way. Everyday, on my way to work, I try to get a seat on the L train. I always go way to the left of the platform, and 95 percent of the time, I end up standing. One day I realized this approach just wasn't working. Yes, maybe I got what I wanted 5 percent of the time, but there had to be a better way. So, one day I went to the right end of the platform, and as the train approached I realized I was going to get a seat. And guess what, it made me smile.

See, sometimes letting go of old ways leads to trying something new. And that something new just might work. Moving on is never negative. It can be hard and frustrating, but when you're ready to try something new, it can be exhilarating and can actually make you smile again ... and not just 5 percent of the time.

You're Talking on the Phone ... Here ... About That?

This afternoon I was in the bathroom at work, and I heard a cell phone ring. At first I thought, 'OK, it's in her purse and the ringer is on ... no biggie.' Then, the woman answered the phone. And, if that's not bad enough, the conversation consisted of girl talk ... nothing urgent enough to talk about while peeing.

Before I go on, let me say that I love my phone. That little Blackberry can do amazing things. But, I'm not going to chat about boys and make up while I'm in the office bathroom. Nobody wants to hear about your new lipstick or the woman who's trying to sleep with your boyfriend.

In this "cell phone is my pacemaker" world, private conversations are on the way to becoming extinct. For those people who do have everyday cell convos constantly in front of others, I'm glad you don't care what people think ... but you should understand that those around you aren't interested in your every word. People may even roll their eyes at you ... take the hint. If you don't respect your private conversation, at least respect that other people are in the world too. And maybe they like to pee, wait for the bus and shop for underwear in peace.

It's alright to turn off your phone every now and then and wait until your home to make calls. And, if your best friend needs to know that color of your lipstick, text her. Why do you think texting was invented? It's not only there for you to send drunken messages at 2 a.m.

Here's a helpful list of acceptable reasons to have, and use, your cell phone in the bathroom, at the bus stop or in the underwear section:


- To call for help if you fall when getting up from the toilet.
- To check the weather to see if you should run home and get your umbrella after all.
- To send a picture message to your guy of the sexy lingerie you just bought.
- To answer the phone when you friend, who you're meeting for drinks, calls because your late. Tell him/her your bus is late and to order a drink and relax.
- To text your best friend when the sales associate at Victoria's Secret tells you you're actually an A cup, and you thought you were a B.
- To update your Facebook status when you're stuck in a long line for the bathroom. It happens a lot, right ladies and people who go to dive bars with one working bathroom.
- To write yourself a memo with some of the lyrics to a song played in the store. You must find it on iTunes.

... Remember ... no amount of girl talk is worth the risk of dropping your phone in your own pee. Then again, maybe sticking your hand in there to retrieve it might make you think twice about your bathroom phone chats.

Take A Chance ... No Regrets

I like to think that the New York Times knows what they're talking about. As one of the most respected newspapers in the nation, when they report on something, you can trust that the journalists have done their homework. So, when my sister sent me the link to a recent study published in the NY Times about regret, I believe that they are right on.

Last week, NY Times reporter Tara Parker-Pope reported that "the most common regret among American adults involves a lost romantic opportunity." When the adults in the study were asked to describe a memorable regret, the most common answer involved that person who got away .. the one they didn't give a chance. And now, years later, they regret it.

I find this really sad. I'm happy this is not a regret of mine ... not at all, actually. Maybe because I've been blessed (or cursed) with an extreme outgoing personality that allows me to express everything I'm feeling. Or maybe it's the fact that I know all to well how life can end at any time. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I always tell someone how I feel. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking chances. Yeah, you could get hurt, but it's better to be hurt, get over it and know that you took a risk, then to still be thinking about "what ifs" ten years down the road. And who knows, maybe it'll work out and you'll be happy ... what a concept.

There are very few people in your lifetime that are going to get under your skin, challenge and inspire you ... and make you truly happy. When you care, let it be known. Don't walk away from someone who makes you smile for no reason. If you care enough to grin like a fool in public, then you shouldn't have any problem saying, "Hey, I want you."

So, women ... don't grow old with your three cats because you never took a chance on someone (one cat is alright though, as long as that animal knows he/she has to share you). And men, don't be that guy in his 50's who no one wants to sit next to at the bar because all you talk about is the woman who got away.

Y'all got it? Good.

The Beginning of "Real" Make Up Ads?

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting up on my rooftop, catching up on some magazine reading, when an ad caught my eye.

I noticed this ad because it was for the foundation I use ... Make Up For Ever. Then I read that it's the first make up ad with no retouching. Of course I did the "ha" laugh until I read the fine print on the right stating, "certified by a notary public." Once I realized it was actually legit, I couldn't get over how much the girl looks like Blake Lively ... oh the genetically blessed.

Anyways, I have to say, I like this marketing idea. Us women want to look beautiful, yet natural. Blue eyeshadow up to our eyebrows was cute when we were six years old and experiencing with mom's make up ... not so cute in adulthood. Not only does the girl in the ad not have caked-on make up, the make up she is wearing is subtle, yet gorgeous. And, her eyebrows aren't perfect, she has slight dark circles under her eyes and you can tell that she does have a pore or two. These imperfections, even though they are small, make this ad! It's because this girl still looks great without Photoshop.  Smart move Make Up For Ever marketers.

That marketing team knows we all want to look great and the real world doesn't allow us to walk around with a computer, constantly snap photos of ourselves, fix them up, and have people look at the screen instead of us. Neither are we going to tie a Photoshopped picture around our head. So, a make up ad that looks good without being touched up might just increase the number of ladies holding a Make Up For Ever foundation while standing in line at Sephora.

It's about time we see a "real" make up ad ... even if the girl looks like she belongs on Gossip Girl. The women in the other 57 ads in that magazine don't really look that way on a day-to-day basis. Who do they think they are fooling? They have pores, a stray eyebrow hair or two and maybe they even have split ends. So, I'll put my thumbs up for Make Up For Ever and their non retouched ad. Maybe they're onto something.

There is one thing about this ad that drives me crazy. She's acting like a sorority girl taking a picture of herself ... just herself ... and in public. I know we all take solo pics, but do it at home ladies.